Letter · Jan 8, 91 · 2 min read
Two Russian Submarine Jokes (Addendum on Russian Humor)
A two-page handwritten letter from Seth, dated Jan 8, 1991, sharing two Russian jokes he forgot to include in an earlier note on Russian humor. Both jokes were told to him by two naval officers over glasses of vodka. The first is about a Russian submarine captain sending a diver named Vasily to identify a sunken sub, ending with the punchline that he knocked on the door and they opened it (revealing it was Russian). The second is a North Pole / directions joke poking fun at Russian guidance systems. Seth closes worrying the jokes are funnier in Russian with vodka.
Jan 8, 91
I forgot this one when I put [it - struck] together the note on Russian humour - It was told to me by two Naval officers between glasses of Vodka:
A Russian submarine was cruising deep in the Atlantic Ocean when the Acoustics officer reported hearing a noise like a Submarine crash. the captain decided it was neccesary to investigate and sent a diver, Vasily out to investigate. He did and returned to the sub. the captain asked "Well, whose submarine was it?", Vasily replied, "Well the rotor says 'Made in Japan'". "But", the captain [word struck] said, "many things are made in Japan - that doesn't mean it's a Japanese sub. Go back & check again." Once again Vasily donned his diving gear and ventured out into the icy water. He returned to report that the missiles said "MADE IN ENGLAND". Once again the Captain explained that did not mean it was an English submarine and sent Vasily out to investigate again.
Vasily returned from his 3rd exbidition with a sad expression on his face and reported that it was a Russian submarine. "How do you know?" asked the captain? "Well," Vasily said slowly "I knocked on the door and told them to open it ........----- and they did."
- - -
Oh yes, they told me one more. A Russian sub and an American sub meet in the ocean. They surface and pull along aside each other. The Russian captain comes topside and asks directions to the North pole. The [American - struck] in broken English. The American captain yells back, it's course 30 by 15! "No,No, you don't understand!", yells the Russian Capt. "I need directions to the North pole!" "Yes" the American says, "It's latitude 3 by longitude 12 then..." "No" - the Russian yells gesturing with his finger "Is it this way - or that way!?!" [a comment on Russian guidance systems!]
Hope you enjoy the jokes, I'm sad to say I fear they may be funnier in Russian with a glass or two of Vodka but I'll send them anyway!
- Seth
Details
Who wrote it & who it’s to
- Written
- Jan 8, 91
- Type
- Letter · Joke Collection Addendum
- Languages
- English
- Length
- 2 min read · 2 pages